Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
