love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
