You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
