Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Houston, we have a squirter
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
