I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
