take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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