I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Randomize
