this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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