I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
