She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
