i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
