"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
