you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
