Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
