I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
