The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
