Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
