I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Fuck appropriateness.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
