if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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