Already got asked if we're dating
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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