he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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