got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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