Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize