Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
