college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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