I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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