what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
