i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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