Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
