i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
How does one acquire holy water?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
