apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
