We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
