she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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