We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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