I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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