can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
