i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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