you guys were way drunker than both of me
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
