Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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