Nicole vs. Life
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
