so that wasnt chicken after all
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
