Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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