God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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