I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Your cock deserves a montage
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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