Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
