i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
