The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
