love makes seman taste better
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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