you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
