I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
