It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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