i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
