Yo dont text me then not text me
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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