Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
