He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
