you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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