At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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