with your own penis?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize