The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
