I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
