The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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