Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
