SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I know her cup size but not her name....
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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