Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
