I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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