wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
