So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Mom said you looked used
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
