he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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