Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
