mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
