oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
