the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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