ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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