dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
