is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
