dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
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