I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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